Resolution

Amazingly enough it seems that the crisis in Thailand is on the mend. I just looked at photos of the airport from CNN- hundreds of riot police, thousands of protestors, bombs, tourists sleeping on baggage belts, etc. It is literally by the grace of God that we did not get caught in that. Wow. It's a sobering thought. Not because I think we would've been hurt or anything, but more the stress of that would've just been so over the top for us in light of the crazy year we've had. I feel more aware of God as a father when I think of this. It was just his mercy. And don't think the idea of being caught in the middle of that isn't a little bit exciting, b/c it is (scary?)...but God knows that is not the kind of exciting I can handle right now.

Which brings me to the exciting I can handle. And no, I'm not pregnant. (Why does everybody think that's what I'm gonna say?)

We are performing a song I wrote called "Emmanuel" on Sunday. When I wrote it on the piano, as I do, I had no idea it was going to become what it is going to become on Sunday. Hats off to Brian Mann for arranging and producing on the fly during rehearsal yesterday. That guy is so over the top talented it's spooky. He had exactly the right direction for us, the band, to give that song wings. It was such an indulgent treat for me, such giddy joy. I felt like a twelve year old kid who got asked to sit with the cool kids at lunch. "You like me? You really like me?"

This is where the resolution comes in; that question about being an artist I was wrestling with. This is my primordial heart beat and there is no denying it. Creating music. Writing songs. Seeing the pieces come together, layer upon layer. Experiencing it and being impacted by the generosity of a God who let's me do this. It's just so amazing. Matt and I literally looked at eachother after practice the other night and he just said "This is so amazing. This life. Getting to play with these people." It really is just such an illustrious, over the top gift. So thanks, friends for letting us play with you, worship with you. And thanks God for blessing me so massively..me with the sometimes short temper, me with the lousy self discipline, me with the insecurities, me so undeserving. Yet the "me" doesn't change who "You" are. And your insistence on loving me like crazy, anyway.

G'night.

Cameron