Rolling

Roll your works upon the Lord, commit and trust them wholly to Him; He will cause your thoughts to become agreeable to His will, and so shall your plans be established and succeed. Proverbs 16:3

Friends,

I have the great privilege and honor of being friends with a few women who are truly superheros. One of them, Jane Pettit, gave me this scripture above to focus on and pray and I want to share it with you.

I have consistently gotten my ideas of who God is mixed up with the truth of who God is and the result is invariably confusion and frustration. In darker times I have been challenged to repent of believing lies about who God is. For example- not believing that God is good. Perhaps the image of the cosmic disciplinarian lingers in my sub conscience and even though I know that's not true, it creeps in.

I have often believed that when things are hard or bad that God is teaching me some sort of lesson, and that I should endure it for that reason. How very wrong. I remember being in the throes of my post partum depression when Sydney was maybe 4 or 5 months old, another sleepless, anxiety filled night for me while Sydney and Matt snored. I remember saying angrily aloud to God, "What could I possibly be learning from this!"

There is a subtle yet distinct difference that needs to be metabolized here. God did not author my post partum in order to teach me something. My human body, flawed as it is, as all of ours are, went hormone haywire and triggered an off the chart anxiety that didn't subside after two weeks- when the baby blues are supposed to vanish. I went to God again and again and again. I felt forgotten, forsaken. I felt like a failure. I felt these things--because my chemical, physical, self was totally out of wack. Yes, God could've touched me and healed me in an instant but he didn't. As he's done before, he allowed me to humble myself and ask for help. I am stubborn so it took 6 months, but when I finally asked for help, medical help, I recieved it and was healed. All healing comes from him. I think he knew I would have more confidence in medical healing.

What He did with my situation is he redeemed it. This is the difference. Redemption- to make good out of something bad. Resurrection- to bring something to life that was lifeless. I am convinced that this is the business he is in- In spite of our lack of belief, our doubts, our disappointments-- he makes something beautiful out of an ugly mess.

I am living proof. Man oh man was I an ugly mess, I can still be an ugly mess. Visit me on a weekday morning before 9am! And man oh man- has he made me beautiful.Not physically per se (again, weekday mornings, rough) but I am a beautiful work in progress . I am in the process of being redeemed, every day. Places that died in me- are being brought to life- dreams, hope, faith. What makes me beautiful is that I am broken, and in spite of my broken-ness He is making something good of me. He is fixing me. Often, in spite of myself.

So thank you Jane. Thank you Lauren. Thank you Cheryl. Thank you Anna and Ryan and Jenna and Paula and Mom and Nancy and Cameron. Thank you for all you've done to speak into my life past and present and remind me that I am a beautiful mess- a beloved work in progress.

Love, Cameron

thoughts

So the memorial service for Grant was today, and it was beautiful, I think. I can't say for sure because some other person got up there and sang and led worship without sobbing uncontrollably because it wasn't me. It was an out of body experience. I had this strange sense of peace and calm the whole time. I remember thinking "you can do this, you lead worship all the time," and "everything is going to be alright," and "an americano with 2 percent would be delicious right now." Strange I know. Interesting what the mind does to preserve itself. It's true that I've lost friends before but it never gets easier. The platonic male friend is a unique phenomenon, always more common when one is married, but still rare. A genuine friend. Like the whole thing in When Harry Met Sally about whether or not men and women can really be friends. I know they can be, because I've had them, not many, and three of them I've lost. An americano does sound good right about now.

I looked up Grant's obituary online (because I don't read the newspaper, I am a publicist who doesn't read the newspaper) and I felt for a second like I was trapped in a movie like "Dead again" or something where the person is not really gone but they are seeing the world act as if they are and how strange that is. Seeing that picture of him, that grin, next to those words, is so wrong, so out of context, so surreal.

Yes, he was sick, but he never seemed sick, he never acted sick. He always acted like his illness was a temporary road block, a minor irritation. What was that nickname he had for his nefrologist? Something offensive and hilarious. I bet that guy will miss Grant. There's a woman out there that Grant had dated, Adriana, and I wish I could get her phone number or contact her somehow. We never met her, but she is sick too, and I want to love on her- as we say in the South, talk to her. Being around his friends is comforting, but I keep waiting to see him walk around the corner. Show up at my front door with take out , in his shorts and birkenstocks, the taped up arm, the goofy smile, the polite-ness. He was polite. I always felt like Grant knew how to tie a tie, how to address people properly, how to act in fancy places and situtations. I liked his waspiness, it was comforting to me. My mother would have loved him if she'd gotten to know him. She did meet him once or twice at Christmas. That was nice.

I remember that first lunch at J Alexander's after Easter. Grant was there and all our "Well" friends (the young adult ministry at Grace), Rob and his mom, Sydney was a baby. Paula and Bill were there, gosh they were like holiday parents to Grant- there was a stretch when we got him for Easter, Thanksgiving and for the Baptism- post Baptism party, he was baptised with Sydney. I just want to write it so I don't forget how he was so easy going, how he came along, how he said yes to church, yes to lunch, yes to our small group. How eventually he said yes to Jesus and yes to living, or Living, really. It is a great honor to have been a witness to that transformation. He was so cool about it, so matter of fact.

This old world is not the same without you in it my friend. I will truly, truly miss you. But I will see you again someday in a better place than this one. Like Erin said "Put in a good word for us".

Love, Cameron

Grant

The irony is that my last post was about remembering and how important it was to me because of the friends I've lost along the way. It's always the good ones isn't it. Only the good die young, or something like that. I am all cried out so I'm going to save my reflections for another time- but all that to say- my precious friend Grant passed away last night. He went home to be with Jesus as Matt so confidently explains, and it's times like these that I am so grateful for that confidence.

Grant is the funniest, most irreverant, kindest most geniune person I know. Grant became a Christian in our small group and was baptized with our daughter Sydney. Grant was a fixture in our home, our lives, our hearts. He will be more that missed. The world is duller, more predictable, not nearly as interesting without him in it.

Good stuff

We had a wonderful Easter and a wonderful Lent really. I just love Lent. I love Advent too. I love the anticipation that something remarkable is going to happen. It's almost better than the actual day in my book. I am the kind of person who will receive a gift and leave it wrapped and unopened for days just so I can drag out the excitement and anticipation a little longer.

The thing about Easter is that Easter is every day. Every day He is Risen. Everyday We are set free. We are made whole. We get a do over. But it's not everyday that we remember.

"Do this in remembrance of me" is what we hear said before we take communion. That simple statement gets me every time. The humility of it. Before I became a believer I lost a few people. I used to say "it's just that I know a lot of people who happen to be dead." Young people. Friends. People who should be alive and well, getting married, having kids, living. So remembering is important to me. Always has been. I remember my friends who are gone and in remembering them I relive the joy they brought me.

He was fully God and fully human, and knowing our propensity to forget, He said "Do this in remembrance of me." Whatever it is you need to do. Sit quietly and remember. Sing loudly and remember. Laugh, cry, shout, whisper. Do what you need to do, but never forget.

So chocolate bunnies or not, everyday is Easter if we remember and accept the invitation to believe. Believe-if you are a Jew- like me- the entire history of our people makes perfect sense, and that the Passover has truly passed us over and if we choose to believe we are spotless in the eyes of God- not because of how good we are or how well we do but because God himself paid our tab out of simple love. If you are a Gentile you can simply choose, no birthright needed, no family tree- just a little faith.

That's all. Here's some pictures from Easter.


Love y'all, Cameron

Life of Christ

Friends,



Thursday and Friday of this week are the two soberest days in the Christian calendar.




Thursday marks the day Jesus sweat blood in the Garden of Gethsemane and was arrested, and Friday the day he was crucified. Without those two events the empty tomb couldn’t have happened. The empty tomb is our hope- that Death itself was defeated and all of humanity has access to live life without fear-- in the knowledge that we are covered by Grace and transformed through Faith.



This Thursday and Friday night our Grace worship band will perform The Life of Christ- an hour long candlelight service featuring classic hymns, the music of Patty Griffin, Brooke Fraser and Robbie Seay, video worship by Brian Mann and The Work of The People, scriptures, and testimonies of healing from Terry and Kimberly Richter. Senior Pastor Doug Ferguson will offer a brief reflection and we will take communion together.



Together, we will tell the greatest story ever told-- the Life of Christ.



Please join us. Bring a friend. This will be a powerful and passionate hour of worship.





Maundy Thursday, April 9 @ 7pm



Good Friday, April 10th @ 6pm





Founder’s Chapel @ Grace Presbyterian Church

10221 Ella Lee Lane (corner of Westheimer and Beltway 8)

Houston 77042

713.781.7615

www.houstonsgrace.org/easterconcerts







Every Blessing,



Cameron

Wanna be a record producer?

So here's what I am thinking...with your help we can make a beautiful record. But we can only do it with your help.


We need to raise some money --- not nearly the total budget. A good chunk of it is accounted for -hallelujah- but $6500 is the balance we need to come up with. I thought it was $5500 but that didn't include album artwork. Of course if any of you talented folks wanted to donate that..that'd be cool?

Here's what I am thinking:

$5- Coffee Making Volunteer Level: get's you a sticker that says "I support good music" and a hug...

$15- Youth Intern Level: get's you a hug (or two)and a free download once the record's done

$50- I'm in Seminary Level: get's you a hug, a t-shirt with the album art that says "Co-producer" on the back, and a free download

$100- I'm with the Church Band Level: get's you all of the above and a lifetime backstage pass to all matt&cameron events (hee hee just kidding, that would be boring)- get's you all of the above, a thank you and picture in the liner notes, a t shirt and a big hug or two.

$500- Front row pew Level: gets you Naming rights to our next child? Your own theme song? Seriously, how about a free live performance at your house (or wherever)and all of the above...(you could even charge admission and make your money back.)

$1000- Rock Star for Jesus Level: Get's you all of the above and the ability to sing on the record! Yes! That's right. You. Us. Making music. How cool is that.

Ok, I have to admit I am stealing all these ideas from Jill Sobule, but they are good ones. And I've always liked Jill Sobule. I digress...

I know the economy sucks, (hello- Matt got laid off in September)but does that mean we should shelve our hopes and dreams? I think not!

Here's the backstory:
It's a record. Matt & Cameron & friends (Robbie Seay is producing, Brian Mann is arranging and co-writing some and the lot of them will be making general magic of our music.)

It's called "Born to Us" which is the name of the song that Matt and I wrote together a few months after Sydney was born. It's the first of many Christmas songs that I've written since she came into the world- I've almost exclusively written Christmas songs since then.

Here's why- I think: I've been thinking about how human it all was- a teenage Mary, a barn, a helpful though thoroughly freaked out Joseph. How every detail of God's story is designed to resonate with us through our own very human experiences. These songs tell that story and God's told us to tell it.


Let's get started! Go to PayPal

To: olivettemusic@gmail.com
From: You!

And the rest should be pretty easy! Start warming up your voices...

not a chicken sandwich

I am thinking about starting another blog about church communications and calling it "not a chicken sandwich. blogspot.com" or something of the sort. I imagine I will use it to vent all my "church marketing sucks" impressions and irritations as well as ideas I think are brilliant and innovative. I am wondering if you- dear friends- have any interest in such things and also what you think of me launching an entirely separate blog from this one. I have been remiss at posting here and I fear I will lose you entirely if I stray...but...I also think there's a time and a place for my "teenage diary" moments and a very different time and place for thoughts on church communications- which as some of you know- is part of my new job title at Grace Pres.

Primarily- the very idea of 'church marketing' is absurd and irritating in the sort of way that just rubs you wrong. Am I right? Marketing is for chicken sandwiches. Communicating is how we share the gospel. It's how we share how our lives have been transformed by God. So even when we are making fliers for an older adults tea party or launching a technologically innovative web site- we are communicating the gospel to the outside world. And sometimes we do that very poorly. We do it poorly when we forget the great commandment, to go and make disciples (note- disciples, not converts), and begin to the think of the church as our own private country club- here to serve our unique needs in a way that best suits us. But "the choir" is not who we are interested in preaching too if we are following Jesus. It's those "outsiders", the ones on the fence, the mom who drops off her children at VBS and wonders for a moment what our church might have for her; these are the people we need to reach with the gospel before it's too late.

One thing I miss about the charismatic church is the viewpoint that we are living in the last days. It's not something us pragmatic Presbyterians like to dwell on. And rightly so. If we know our bibles, and Presbyterians do, we know that neither the day nor hour of the Lord's returning will be known to us. Like a thief in the night, He'll come. We just need to be ready.

But I believe he will have some tough questions for us: Did we share our stories of healing, grace and redemption in ways that were easily understood by non believers and comprehended, or did we lace our speech with "Christianese" because it was easier? Did we confidently use our gifts to advance the Kingdom or did we wait for someone to tell us to? Did we create an 'insider world' with our print, video and website or did we create multimedia invitations into the Kingdom and the life of our church?

We are not a chicken sandwich. We are the bride of Christ. Believe it!

I say this all mostly for myself. I am an external processor. I guess what I want to say is that those of us in ministry must unapologetically use technology, media and creativity to advance the gospel in a way that is relevant, and let God do the rest.