Eek & some potential heresy but here goes

Please do pray for us because this storm is about the size of Texas itself. I keep going back and forth about whether or not to get up at the crack and drive to College Station to stay with my aunt and uncle. Trouble is it's not the best situation for our cat, Steve, because my aunt is allergic and he would have to kinda stay in the garage or somewhere. Hmmm. I think that could be really stressful but I also think it may be better than being in the house when a hurricane hits. I am without a clue as to what to do.

I was struck by something I read last night in The Shack. Jesus is talking to Mack and explaining to him why he doesn't trust God. Jesus says something like "it's because you don't believe we are good". We or me- not sure which "he" meant. God is portrayed in the book as three distinct people- the Trinity. When I was pregnant with Sydney I went through a particularly dark week where some tests had indicated that something "may" be wrong with her. Without a doubt I can say that was the hardest thing I had ever been through at that point. All my crippling fears showed up and insisted on staying for dinner..and breakfast...and lunch...and dinner...for about a week. I went to see my friend Patsy over at the Houston Vineyard for prayer. She gave me Psalm 139- "you are fearfully and wonderfully made"- and asked me if I believed that God is good. I guess I had assumed I believed that but I really didn't. I lived with a sense of anticipation of the hammer coming down. Of punishment. Of some kind of lesson I'd have to learn. Not consciously, but unconsciously. It was so much a part of my thought life that I didn't even know it was there. It wasn't until she told me that morning, that God is Good, did I really think it could be possible for me to believe that.

So that brings us to Ike, or Eeeek as I would prefer to call it. Are hurricanes a part of the Fall? I mean the thing in itself with all it's strength and fury could be seen as quite beautiful- something God may have created. But perhaps the wickedness of how we humans have stewarded his good creation - pollution, global warming, etc- has resulted in turning the majestic thing that may have been intended to act as some kind of oceanic scrub brush- into the monster that it is.

Just a thought.

Please pray for total peace and security for Sydney. My biggest prayer is that she will not be afraid. She's been really cranky since we got home from Budapest and I think she is just mad because life has been so unpredictable- all the travel- new year- Daddy's job thing, new school, mommy's job thing, etc. She's probably just overwhelmed. And two. There's that of course. Nonetheless we covet your prayers and know that you friends in Houston- we are praying for you too.

Love and blessings,

Cameron

Ike

Argh. What really sucks is that it makes you think that the Gulf Coast isn't really liveable. Which, really, just the bugs and humidity alone might make you think. Should we board up our windows? We went to Target tonight and got some "Hurricane Supplies", thanks to Brian Mann who printed up the list from ready.gov and handed it out today :-)

Well here's an image that I love. Sleep tight.
Cameron

The Media Milkshake

So I am doing more "communications" stuff at Grace, which means I am dragging my PR hat out of the closet once more, blowing the dust off and rolling up my sleeves. After attending a "seminar" on web stuff I am a born again public relations person, but not really. Because what I've decided is the term public relations is completely last century. The idea of communication for me is about evangelism. Seriously. It has to be. Wanting to share with everyone something that has honestly changed your life for the good. I am just so grateful that I don't have to share "widgets"- I can share about the things I really care about.

Speaking of widgets I have added some "bling" to my blog, the twitter feed. Check it out. I am just now really getting the hang of it. You can add it to your phone, you can choose people to follow (follow me, follow me!), I think you can comment? I am not sure. But check it out.

On another note I am reading The Shack (of course I am) so I am going to get to that. The protagonist is in a log cabin somewhere in a perfectionized version of Oregon, having tea with The Father, Son and Holy Spirit. Aka "Papa"- an Aretha Franklin type character who represents Father, "Sarayu"- an ephemeral Asian woman with commitment issues- meant to be the Holy Spirit, and Jesus- a less than handsome Middle Eastern handyman with a Jewish nose. http://theshackbook.com.

I am torn between thinking it brilliant and ridiculous. Have you read it? Chime in. I'd love to start a discussion about this one. Here is the author's blog

Night night again,

Cameron
PS. I just changed my laptops clock back from Central European time. It's 5:51 am in Budapest right now. Crazy.

Little Chicken

As she always is, a burst of sunshine. Sydney's 2nd birthday party at Nick and Nanny's in Southhampton. Get a load of the boat and the impossibly green grass. It really is heavenly there. Up early for worship tomorrow. It has been a long time since we've done that. Looking forward to being back. Night, Night, Cameron

Locks and Locks of Love

I cut my hair. 10 inches! Yeah! I am sending it to locks of love tomorrow. I feel like a new person! Hooray. I just got wind of a million amazing new techie geek website-y things that are going to be mainstream in about 5 minutes. Like google mainstream. Big. Really, really big. I signed up for twitter and you should to. My handle is 'missionarymama'. I know it's not a handle, but that's just a funny word and makes me think of smoky and the bandit. Ok, night, night off to read the trashy vampire novel set in Eastern Europe I bought in the airport. Can I be an Eastern Europe-o-phile? I met a Russian today and almost cried.

Love, Cameron

Re-Entry

There is a book somewhere in my house, maybe in one of the new baskets that I bought in a feeble attempt to organize my house. The book is on loan from some of our favorite people- Brian and Andrea Mann- folks who lived in Sweden as missionaries for 3 years. The book is about coming back home after a mission trip- short or long- what to expect, etc. I don't know if it quite covers all that we've encountered upon coming home though- from the immediate death of both our refrigerator and disposal, to my own father's literal near death experience to...well the rest of it.

But here is what's amazing. And here is what we have learned in Budapest. God is in the middle of it. God is doing something. God has and will provide and we have no doubt. We want to be a part of what He is doing even if it means a bump in the road. Or a crater. Whatever it is, He is in it and personally I am kind of giddy about seeing what He is up to.

I cut my hair off today. Well not completely but quite short. 10 inches shorter! When we came back from Budapest it just felt like nothing really fit. Our furniture, our clothes (maybe that was the Hungarian food), my hair, etc... We became different people in those 3 months. We've truly been changed.

I had a great talk with Melissa Brown today, who is Grace's missions director, and in her no nonsense way she framed it perfectly. She said "You are convicted, you are being called to the mission field, and the enemy doesn't like it." Our hearts have been completely broken for Hungary, Hungarians and the city of Budapest itself. For different reasons but with equal seismic consequences. Our hearts grew to include this tragically beautiful country and it's proud/sentimental people-- but the swelling could not be contained resulting in a fissure, a true break. Never to be the same again.

All the while we were there I kept saying to people, who would ask if we'd come back, "Well God would have to really do something, really open a door, make it obvious, because we really love our life in Houston." Perhaps that is what is truly happening. Who knows. All I know is that in Budapest life was in color. Brilliant, vibrant, heart breaking color. Back in Houston, we are experiencing black and white. We love Houston still, but it's just...different. I just pray we have the guts to follow where He is leading. To discern and follow.

Our friend Dani had a t-shirt last summer that on the front said, "Send me." On the back it said "I'll go."

Love y'all,

Cameron