Why Everyone is Not Your Friend on Facebook

So, I was reminded just now of why reconnecting with a fairly painful past through Facebook, is something that is not for the weak stomached (like myself). There was a section of my life in a place, with people, that is so tied to my parents divorce and all the painful years surrounding it, that since then (1990) I have imagined that it never existed. I have- untruthfully- skipped over it in the cliffnotes version of my life story- or mentioned it briefly- in passing, hoping to avoid questions about it.

Beside it being the site of the painful disintegration of my family, it was where I lived out the awkwardest years of my life- middle school- so until FB, it had been buried in the recesses of my memory.

But God is all about raising the dead, isn't he, and so that's what he's doing in a way, with my life. He's raising the dead parts. One dead part was my relationship with my father. Literally years- sometimes 8 or 9 between sitings. And sitings or visits were always painful, until now. This past summer, after 3 months in Europe, we returned home to two shocks- Matt's layoff and my Father's congestive heart failure.

Nothing in me wanted to drop my life and get on a plane for New Jersey to be with the father who was never there for me. Nothing in me wanted to navigate the streets of that town that has forever been tied with embaressment, rejection and uncertainty. And no one would expect me to. Everyone would understand if I just couldn't go up there. Everyone but the still small voice, the change in me, the wonderful councellor who will not be ignored.

I say all this I guess because my faith is another part of me that seems incompatible with that past place- another thing about me for them to reject, I think. And in many cases I am right, and in many cases I am wrong. A few old friends have become new ones, as we suspend judgement about eachother. But does it matter? Should it matter? Should I hide who I am and what I am because I am still trying to fit in? Should you? Hell no.

But I'm not going to fulfill sterotypes either. I'm not going to judge you, preach at you, or try to convert you. I am going to tell my story, that's all. I am going to provide a platform for others to tell their stories. That's all any of us can do really. I would respectfully ask for the same from you. Don't judge me. Don't assume I'm a republican (I am not), don't assume I think your going to Hell (I don't), don't assume I am ignorant, judgemental, or brainwashed ( I am not). Give me a chance. Have an open mind. Or don't. It's up to you. The minimum of what I ask, is that you maybe just try to have some respect. I will do the same for you, I promise.