Need a miracle

So this is what people used to say when they were trying to buy scalped tickets to a Grateful Dead concert, and the phrase has been coming up in my mind all summer. "I need a miracle." I am about to start searching for a ticket to NJ to see my father. He is a little better, and there is talk of him being discharged. He can't take care of himself so we are trying to get him released to a rehab facility. I talked to him tonight - he's still in the hospital- and he perked up when we started to talk about Sydney.

Here is a picture of us from our "reconciliation" visit in April. I hadn't seen him in more than 6 years, and he hadn't met Sydney. We went up to New Jersey to see him and I had no idea how it would go. It was very emotional for me, going back to the town where I grew up. Seeing all the places I have tried to pretend never existed. The person I was there is someone I have honestly tried to forget.

God was so gentle with me through that time. I was sad, but also elated. It was the closure that I needed in a way to know that I had reached out to my dad. And he really did appreciate it. It was so strange to see him, having aged so much and so vulnerable. To me he was always an intimidating, even ominous character. Either full of laughter and joy, or misery and anger. The older I got the more the latter was the case. Now he seems to have mellowed.

Jane reminded me today that God is working in this even if I am too tired to recognize it. She gave me such peace today. I feel like I am going to be able to handle this, though it's alot to deal with after such a crazy summer, it's what I have to deal with I guess. I need to just trust God with it. And this is what I am trying to do. Please pray for my father's salvation. He is 80 years old and in poor health. Pray that God will open the door for him and he will walk through it.

Sydney starts "school" tomorrow!!! We've got a big day ahead of us.

Love and Blessings,
Cameron